Shane and I, discussing the Tina Fey Vanity Fair cover this morning:

Me: So Tina Fey had to lose a bunch of weight before they’d put her on SNL. Apparently she was too fat and horrid to appear before the general public.

Shane: When was Tina Fey ever “fat”?

Me: Back when she “just” wrote for SNL. She’s about my size, 5′4″, and she used to weigh 150, which is 5 pounds more than I weighed at my heaviest. Now she’s 120. [...]

Me: Isn’t that bullshit? Liz Lemon loves food, but she doesn’t have the body of a woman who looks like she loves food. And you can’t say it’s because Tina Fey has a high metabolism, because she used to be a “fat chick.” So here you have Alec Baldwin with his middle-aged drunkard bloat, and that’s fine. But Liz Lemon, no, unless she looks borderline anorexic, that shit just won’t fly. And you don’t see NBC sending Alec Baldwin out to promote 30 Rock in a mankini. [gesturing to aforementioned cover]

Shane: Borderline anorexic? You’re 5′4″ and 120 pounds, if not less.

Me: Yeah, but my thighs are way fatter than hers.

Meh.

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Tagged: tina fey 30 rock liz lemon vanity fair alec baldwin beauty misogyny sexism

Today is my great-uncle Ken’s birthday. He’s 100 years young today, he is.

Happy birthday, Uncle Ken. Don’t eat too much pie.

Or rather, do. You’ve earned it!

And yes, good genes, I got ‘em.

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Tagged: ken naber 100 birthday flickr photos

Mr. Bitch and I headed out to the polling place around 10:45. Anticipating at least an hour’s wait, I brought a copy of the latest Bitch magazine. We even parked a ways down the street from the courthouse, since we didn’t want to cruise around looking for a spot, and wanted to save the good parking for elderly and handicapped voters anyhow.

Alas, although the small room allocated for elections was crowded, there was no line to speak of. The whole process took all of 15 minutes, start to finish. The hardest part was penciling in my write-ins with a marker. (Ugh!)

Clinton County has paper ballots that you feed into a scanner; as it registers your ballot, it shows you what number voter you are. This bitch was voter #782 at her polling place. That sounds like a low number, but not so much when you consider that our county is only home to 18,979 people, including kids under 18. Given that there’s only one polling place for the entire county, and residents of different areas received different ballots, it’s possible that I was only voter #782 in my area. Either way, I hope the number reflects a high voter turnout this year.

Anyway, I prepared for a long wait - downed a bowl of pasta for lunch before leaving, brought some reading material, crated Miss Kaylee, the nervous pee-er - so now it looks like I have the afternoon free. I’ve been experiencing waves of nausea (zomg, what if McCain wins!?) and sadness (someone close to me passed away last night) all day, so methinks I’ll take the dogs for a walk (which means three rounds of walks, since I have five dogs and can only handle two at a time). It’s a gorgeous day out, and tomorrow a cold front’s supposed to come through and bring the first snow fall of the season. Better take advantage of the warm weather while I can. Plus, distractions - I needs ‘em.

For those voting in Missouri: if you plan on writing in a candidate, you can find Missouri state regulations on write-in candidates here. I double-checked ‘em on a whim before leaving; the write-in regulations, though a little stricter than I initially thought, didn’t affect any of my choices. (McKinney/Clemente, if you’re wondering, did file the necessary paperwork to be considered viable write-in candidates.) I mostly voted a Democratic ticket, though I did vote for one libertarian candidate and wrote in two candidates, one Dem, one Green.

And yes, I voted my conscience.

I’m not sorry.

(Crossposted to.)

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Tagged: kansas missouri ks mo kcmo kcks election vote 2008 elections ballot democrat republican clinton county i voted get out the vote bitch bitch magazine democracy participate flickr blogging

They got Special Deals on Quality AK-47’s, yo.

I can’t even begin to describe what a mindfuck it is for a pacifist like moi to see her surname plastered across a gun shop storefront. And it’s doubly disconcerting when your last name is so uncommon that yours might very well be the only family in all of America to share it.

I mean, my uncle could just as easily have named the store “Phil’s Metallic Phallus Emporium,” but no.

At least, I’m assuming this is my uncle’s place. Website found via the Google, which is one clue as to the closeness of Garbato familial relationships.

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Tagged: gunz tucson arizona your featherhead pacifism

Today’s my three-year blogiversary. And I almost forgot!

Happy birthday, me. Or is that smiteme? But I was kellygarbato first, so how does that work?

Anywho. I’ll have to defrost a Ronald’s Donut and celebrate tomorrow.

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Tagged: your featherhead blogiversary flickr photos

Oh yays! The lovely Kara from Lantern Books sent me two ARCs (Advance Reading Copies), and I’m psyched about them both: Strategic Action for Animals by Melanie Joy and Social Creatures: A Human and Animal Studies Reader, edited by Clif Flynn.

Strategic Action looks as first glance as though it will make a nice supplement to Striking at the Roots, and Social Creatures is an anthology of essays on anthrozoology. So, yays all around!

Lantern Books has a pretty interesting selection of new releases, not all of which deal with animal advocacy issues. For example, there’s a book on male aggression (Boys Will Be Boys) and another about the Columbine school shootings (No Easy Answers). So, go check ‘em out. As of last month, they’re also on Library Thing - so if you’re an Early Reviewer (and, um wtf wouldn’t you be, you silly bird?), maybe you’ll be able to snag a Lantern book via LT. Last go-round they offered up 15 copies of Aftershock, with 321 members requesting a copy…not too shabby!

I also treated myself to a few early birthday presents - a subscription to Veg News (The two-year subscription comes with a free tote, which is friggin massive. I should be able to cram an entire Whole Foods trip into it. Well, almost. All that Purely Decadent ice cream might put me over the top.), and three more books: The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood (I was reading a library copy, but I ran out of renewals!), The Caged Virgin by Ayaan Hirsi Ali, and Thirty Ways of Looking at Hillary, another anthology of essays.

Oh mans, I love book piles. Maybe a little too much.

(Crossposted from.)

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Tagged: books shout out lantern books strategic action for animals social creatures activism animals animal rights animal welfare animal activism animal advocacy anthrozoology flickr photos

So I’m back, mostly at least. The surgery went well; the laughing gas and sedatives knocked me on my arse more than anything else. The whole first day I couldn’t keep much of anything down, not even liquids and Vicodin, and so I spent all of Thursday alternating between napping and puking. (A stomach empty save for Dr. Pepper makes for surprisingly interesting vomit. No, for reals.) By Friday my back was seized up from laying around, but I was too dazed to do much of anything else. Same for Saturday. Yesterday I was restless enough that I dragged my but into the office and slogged through my email. Not fun, but at least I got to sit upright for a bit. Yoga felt soooo goood this morning, I almost did it twice.

All in all, the whole experience was not as fun as I’d hoped. I’d had grandiose visions of spending a weekend catching up on Netflix movies, reading a book or two, and just generally milking the sympathy. Not so much. And the caffeine withdrawal (there was a 36 hour stretch where I couldn’t eat *at all*) sure didn’t help matters.

Aside from the four gaping holes in my mouth, I’m good. Good enough to make some lolz, anyways. Here’s a Kaylee series, after she had six teeth removed last March. Her old “owners” sucked ass, but the only thing we can do about that now is love on her and laugh about it as best we can. And edumakate others. So, take your animals to the vet, people, otherwise this is what happens.

Such a sweet face, even with those crazy teefs!

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Tagged: my furbabies lol lolz loldog kaylee rat terrier jack russell terrier teeth dental dental surgery your featherhead dental extractions dentist neglect flickr photos

After 15 years (15 years! that’s, like, half my life!) of pissing and moaning, I’m finally getting my wisdom teeth yanked out tomorrow. I have no idea how long I’ll be out of commission, but Monday sounds about right. Of course, I’m probably just being a big whiny tittybaby.

Either way, I’ll see ya when I see ya.

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Tagged: your featherhead dentists lol lolz lolcat site admin

Should I be at all concerned that my new dentist is a dead ringer for Rick Santorum?

And no, since I don’t know whether the man is a Dem or Rethug, I most certainly will not point out the similarity. A sadomasochist, I’m not.

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Tagged: rick santorum dentist your featherhead