Today I’m participating in Everybody Draw Mohammed Day, albeit not without some reservations.

Originally conceived by cartoonist Molly Norris (who later disassociated herself from the event), Everybody Draw Mohammed Day began as protest against Comedy Central’s self-censorship of the South Park episode 201, which included depictions of and references to the prophet Mohammed. (Reportedly, the episode is not airing in reruns – which would explain why my DVR recorded the wrong episode at the 12:00 hour – nor is it available on Comedy Central’s website.) Nevertheless, the episode resulted in thinly veiled death threats against South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone on the website Revolution Muslim.

As envisioned by Norris, Everybody Draw Mohammed Day is a means of standing up for freedom of expression (and showing solidarity with Parker and Stone) by “watering down the pool of targets.” This is to say, it’s easier to silence one voice, or two or twenty; an international chorus, not so much. Rather than being anti-Muslim, Everybody Draw Mohammed Day is pro-free speech (ditto: pro-free though and pro-secularism, at least to me). And ethical consistency: “if you want to live in a Western society and use the system to protect your rights [attn: Revolution Muslim], you have to be willing to allow others to have theirs as well,” explained Mimi, one of many event organizers. All of which this heathen vegan feminist is totally down with.

Unfortunately (though unsurprisingly), many of the submissions I’ve seen on Facebook and elsewhere are not just anti-Muslim, but also virulently racist, as well as sexist, xenophobic, homophobic, sizeist, speciesist, and the like. Common themes include Mohammed’s head Photoshopped onto the body of a nude/semi-nude woman (women’s sexuality is gross!); Mohammed’s head Photoshopped onto an obese woman’s body (fat women are gross!); Mohammed engaged in various sexual acts with another man (dude, gay!); and Mohammed raping nonhuman animals (appropriating animal suffering, yay!), to name but a few.

Unoriginal and juvenile, yes, but even more so, these images manage to mock and ridicule people instead of ideas, and largely for irrelevant personal characteristics, at that. Just as I abhor this sort of behavior when it comes from those in the animal rights movement, neither do I condone racism, sexism, etc. when employed in defense of the First Amendment. You can poke fun at and criticize religion – even religious fundamentalists – without denigrating entire groups of people, particularly those who already bear the brunt of discrimination and prejudice. I sincerely hope that my eleven submissions (none of them actual drawings; I could hardly draw a stick figure to save my life, and anyhow, the stick figure thing is played out) are a decent enough illustration of this.

Finally, I invite all participants to join the Center for Constitutional Rights, the ACLU and Amnesty International in supporting the civil and human rights of the millions of Muslims, Middle Easterners and people of color who have been marginalized and oppressed by the “War on Terror.” Likewise, if you’re a member of the Facebook group Everybody Draw Mohammed Day!, please also join me in Time to Arrest the Pope.*

The bottom line? Don’t be a hater, mkay?

Now let the blasphemy commence!

First up is this riff on Dumb & Dumber, wherein Mohammed appears as Jim Carrey/Lloyd Christmas and Jesus manifests as Jeff Daniels/Harry Dunne (so chosen solely because of his hippie stoner haircut).

“I’m with Mohammed”:
Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels, dressed as Lloyd Christmas and Harry Dunne from the movie Dumb & Dumber, stand side by side, arms slung around one another’s shoulders. Their t-shirts read “I’m with Jesus” and “I’m with Mohammed,” respectively.
(Original image taken from the film’s soundtrack.)
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The message? Religious pissing matches are a waste of time; in the end, there are no winners, and all participants are equally dumb, yo! So just grab a doobie and let’s all just get along, kay? (For what it’s worth, I absolutely loathe this movie.)

“Mo Hammed, Mo Problems” is all about word association; “Mohammed” tends to remind me of this Notorious B.I.G. album. Plus, I like the artwork!

“Mo Hammed, Mo Problems”:
The Notorious B.I.G.’s face has been replaced by that of the prophet Mohammed on the the cover of the album Mo Money Mo Problems. Here, Mohammed is surrounded by paper bills, and the album title has been changed accordingly.
(Mohammed’s image courtesy the Mohammed Image Archive.)
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After the “Mo Hammed” album, I kind of veered in a retro/pop culture direction (with no small amount of help from fd’s flickr toys, which I experimented with ad nauseum). Take, for example, the Mohammed Pop Art Poster:

“Mohammed Pop”:
Using the Pop Art Poster tool from fd’s flickr toys, I created a montage of nine identical images of Mohammed’s face and torso, each colored a different hue. Voila!: Insta pop art!
(Mohammed’s image courtesy the Mohammed Image Archive.)
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Then there’s the Mohammed Puzzle, which takes us from the kitschy to the mundane:

“Mohammed Puzzle”:
Using the Jigsaw tool on fd’s flickr toys, I transformed a 17th century painting of Mohammed addressing his followers into a mass-produced tabletop puzzle – with a few pieces missing, natch.
(Mohammed’s image courtesy the Mohammed Image Archive and Wikipedia.)
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I also sent Mohammed on vacation, to – where else!? – Utah:

“Vacation Photos”:
Using the Hockneyizer tool on fd’s flickr toys, I made a Polaroid collage (“in the style of the artist David Hockney”!) comprised of different portions of a 1625 Parisian portrait of Mohammed. The photos bear various notations – only parts of which are legible – including the following: “Utah is awesome!”; “…she said!”; “Those Mormons crack me up.”; “He…”; “lol my…”; “…xoxo”; and “Wish u were here!”
(Mohammed’s image courtesy the Mohammed Image Archive.)
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Here’s the same piece of artwork, this time with a ’60s/’70s retro vibe (as opposed to the Polaroid’s late ’70s/early ’80s feel):

“Retro Bonus Mohammed”:
With a little help from the Framer at fd’s flickr toys, I also made the 1625 portrait of Mohammed into a ’70s retro-style ColorCraft Bonus Photo.
(Mohammed’s image courtesy the Mohammed Image Archive.)
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I also made Mohammed a nifty little badge for next year’s CPAC gathering, where he’ll have the chance to hobnob with like-minded conservative, misogynist, power-hungry religious fundamentalists (“conservatives,” as they’re called here in the U.S. of A.):

“Mohammed’s CPAC ID”:
Again with fd’s flickr toys! Using the site’s Badge Maker, I created a name tag that will help Mohammed gain admittance to next year’s CPAC convention. Red and white, the badge screams “HELLO!” and introduces the wearer as “Muhammed.” At the bottom, a tag line reads, “Ask me about my latest revelation!” The badge bears a black-and-white sketch of Mohammed preaching to his followers.
(Mohammed’s image courtesy the Mohammed Image Archive.)
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The next several images feature cartoon stills from South Park. Again, we’re back to the banal with a cheesy custom postage stamp:

“Wish You Were Here”:
A cartoon of the Super Best Friends – Buddha, Moses, Joseph Smith, Krishna, Lao Tzu, Muhammad and Sea Man – posing for the camera alongside Stan Marsh, while the Flying Spaghetti Monster hovers above. The “photo” has been made into a postage stamp with fd’s flickr toys.
(Cartoon via South Park / Comedy Central.)

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Also boring: vacation photos stuck haphazardly to a cork bulletin board:

“Super Awesome Memories”:
Another cartoon of the Super Best Friends (this time Joseph Smith, Buddha, Jesus and Mohammed), tacked onto a faux cork billboard using the Framer tool on fd’s flickr toys.
(Cartoon via South Park / Comedy Central.)
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But wait! Mohammed doesn’t leave the house without his Super Best Friends badge:

“Super Best Friends Badge”:
Mohammed’s Super Best Friends badge. Top to bottom, the badge reads, “SUPER BEST FRIENDS | Muhammed* | Prophet/Messenger | Patriarch/Patriarchist | Pimp Daddy | Member Since: 610 | Expiration: Never | Birthdate: 570 | *Blessings and peace be upon him/me.” On the badge, Mohammed is shown in cartoon form, South Park style.
(Cartoon via South Park / Comedy Central.)
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(“Pimp daddy” because Mohammed’s patriarchal, multiple-wives-for-everyman vision of Islam most definitely transforms women into chattel to be exchanged at will – as do the more conservative branches of Christianity, Mormonism, etc.)

Last but not least is my favorite of the batch:

“On Notice”:
Using The Stephen Colbert “On Notice Board” Generator, I generated a special Islamic On Notice Board, replacing Stephen Colbert’s head with that of Mohammed. Top to bottom, the prophet has put the following phenomenon On Notice: Comedy central; Kahlua cupcakes; Harry Potter; “Business Casual”; Stephen Baldwin; Mondays; Bacon Bras; and Revolution Muslim.
(Mohammed cartoon via Kurt Westergaard.)
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a special, Islamic themed On Notice board, wherein a relatively moderate Mohammed expresses his anger at Revolution Islam for their extremist asshattery.

Also: Kahlua cupcakes. So yummy, but so very taboo. Damn you, beverage-foodstuff hybrids!

* Updated to add: It looks like, in the time it took me to finish this post, Facebook deleted the Everybody Draw Mohammed page. And yet.

Meh. IBTK.

Teh fine print: wallpaper from MyWallpapers.org; lyrics by Dan Bern.

Smite Me?

Originally posted @ www.kellygarbato.com/blog/2006-05-21/
Filed under: Religion, Smite Me! Series — Kelly @ May 21, 2006 12:49 am

Teh fine print: wallpaper from Family Guy Defined.

Smite Me?

Originally posted @ www.kellygarbato.com/blog/2006-05-14b/
Filed under: Religion, Smite Me! Series — Kelly @ May 14, 2006 8:52 am

Because terrorists come in all denominations.

Teh fine print: Image copyright NormalBobSmith.com.

Final Justice Jesus Dress Up – an eternity of fun!

Smite Me?

Originally posted @ www.kellygarbato.com/blog/2006-05-07/
Filed under: Religion, Smite Me! Series — Kelly @ May 7, 2006 11:37 pm

Teh fine print: Picture copyright MTV Germany.

Mitre tip to Ryan of Liberal Serving!

Find out more about the trouble in Popetown.

Smite Me?

Originally posted @ www.kellygarbato.com/blog/2006-04-13/
Filed under: Religion, Smite Me! Series — Kelly @ April 13, 2006 10:33 pm

Mmmm, sacrilicious!

Teh fine print:
Cartoon copyright The Beast, 2006.
Image available at BuffaloBeast.com.

Smite Me?

Originally posted @ www.kellygarbato.com/blog/2006-02-26/
Filed under: Religion, Smite Me! Series — Kelly @ February 26, 2006 3:11 pm

As a liberal, I think my take on the cartoons and the subsequent rioting should be obvious; however, I’m more than a bit dismayed to see liberal bloggers, for the most part, siding with the rioters vs. the cartoonists and newspapers. Why should I expect a different response, you ask? Well, two reasons: freedom of speech and secularism, both of which liberals should support wholeheartedly.

Unfortunately, libs have mostly backed the rioters, on the grounds that the cartoons were racist and – although the papers are well within their right to do so – it is nonetheless irresponsible for them to publish such antagonizing and insulting images. My objections to this approach are two-fold.

Firstly, the cartoons attacked Muhammad, an Islamic prophet. Islam is a religion, not a race. While many Muslims are Arabs, membership in this racial/ethnic group is by no means a prerequisite to practicing the religion, no more so than is being Italian a precondition to belonging to the Catholic faith. Taken at face value, the cartoons clearly derided Islam and Muslims, not Arabs. You can accuse the cartoonists and papers of being anti-Islam or even anti-theist, but not racist. At least not with absolute certainty.

Even so, the cartoonists’ and/or papers’ underlying intentions could have very well been to insult Arabs as an ethnic group, as many Arabs are Muslim. To the extent that the cartoons were meant to insult Arabs as a race, they (Arabs) certainly have my sympathies. Racism – disliking and/or discriminating against a racial group simply for how they look or what they are – is abhorrent. However, I will still defend the cartoonists’ and papers’ right to create and publish racist images, commentary, etc., because one person’s right to free speech trumps another’s “right” not to be offended. After all, every form of speech will prove offensive to someone; unless we all become shut-ins and never communicate with one another, we will, at some point or another, offend others. Hell, even the mere existence of some groups of people is offensive to other groups. If, for example, the most extreme fundies (Christian and Muslim alike) had their way, we’d summarily execute gays, as allowing them to live would be an affront to God.

That’s why I ♥ the ACLU, even though they’ve shared their bed with the KKK and NAMBLA. As much as I abhor both groups, they still have a right to think and say what they want, as repugnant and hateful as it may be. If we start trying to regulate thoughts and opinions, there’s no telling where it would stop. Before you know it, the government will be assigning us breeding partners and confiscating all non-approved literature. Think 1984.

In this particular case, the issue of racism is moot anyhow. Unless the Western media has all their reporting ass-backwards, the protestors themselves are not rioting because they find the cartoons racist; they’re upset because images of Muhammad – even benign ones – are blasphemous. That’s a big fucking difference. Rather than calling for respect as a racial group, Muslims expect non-believers to adhere to their own silly superstitious beliefs. That’s called a theocracy, people, and it’s wrong no matter the religion or the crusaders, be it Muslim rioters or our own fundie president.

I’m really sick (to the point of actual physical nausea!) of hearing liberals excuse and even justify intolerant and fanatical behavior with cries of multiculturalism and moral relativism – just because the offending group is a minority and/or oppressed. Muslims who demand that infidels never, ever scribble a sketch of Muhammad – and putting a bounty on the head of anyone who does so – is no better than Catholics who attempt to limit everyone’s access to contraception, just because their religion looks down on family planning and responsible reproduction. (Not to mention churches that are allowed to ignore zoning laws, thus infringing on their neighbor’s property rights, or Christian “Scientists” who sacrifice their children for their own cockamamie beliefs, etc., etc., etc. – you get the idea.) I don’t give a fuck if Muslim immigrants are treated poorly in European countries; I don’t care if they aren’t allowed to wear their burqas to school and have a hard time finding work. While such discrimination is deplorable, in no way does it give them the right to demand that everyone, everywhere, the world over, follow their religious edicts. Period.

Now, don’t get me wrong: as much as I will defend the papers’ right to publish the cartoons, I’ll also support Arabs’ and Muslims’ right to protest the cartoons, whether it’s because they find them racially or religiously insulting. Muslims are well within their right to voice their objections to the papers, to take to the streets in peaceful protests, and to boycott the offending publications or even their home countries. But their actions have clearly crossed the line; protestors have destroyed the property of both businesses and governments – with no regard for their targets’ actual involvement in the cartoons’ publication, mind you. At least forty people have died, and the cartoonists have been the subject of public death threats. And these actions are by no means restricted to a small minority of Muslims or protestors; the situation is so dire that the Danish PM has declared it Denmark’s worst international crisis since WWII. All because of twelve stupid cartoons.

Perhaps most chillingly, the rioters are of the belief that all non-believers should be required to observe Islamic restrictions – whether they interfere with our own secular / human / natural rights or not. While they certainly have a right to request that individuals respect their religion, they have zero grounds to demand complete deference. Their willingness to resort to violence to get their way is no better than the xian who intimidates abortion providers with death threats in order to “save the fetuses.” In fact, the ironic part of this whole sorry affair is that the vehemence shown by many of the protestors affirms one of the cartoonists’ points – namely, that Islam is a violent religion that encourages terrorism (just as those who murder abortions docs contradict their supposed “respect for all life”).

And to reduce the rioting to a simple, black and white case of the have-nots rebelling against the haves is at best naive. Sure, I have no doubt that many Muslims hate industrialized nations and Westerners because we have more wealth than they do. Envy, after all, is a natural human emotion. But let’s be honest – that’s not the only reason they hate us. They also hate that we “let” our women drive and wear mini-skirts. They hate us because we don’t stone homosexuals to death. They want our heads because we don’t drop to our knees in prayer five times a day in order to please some make believe sky Daddy. No matter how you try to spin it, they hate us because we love freedom – freedom of thought, freedom of religion, freedom to be who you are. (Theoretically, at least, seeing as how our own brand of Godidiots is currently hard at work, trying to strip us of the very freedoms that allowed their own silly belief system to flourish. But at least we’ve got those freedoms on paper, and that’s a good start.)

I know it ain’t much, but Smite Me! will be my own small celebration of this freedom – freedom of and from religion, in all its corrupting forms. Though I’ve self-identified as an atheist for as long as I can remember, I’ve always been quick to add that I’m primarily opposed to organized religion, as the hierarchical structure encourages religious leaders to treat their followers like sheeple, while robbing them blind.

Since I began blogging back in May, however, I’ve also come to realize that I’m an anti-theist as well. Witnessing the violence and irrationality that twelve amateurish cartoons were capable of inciting has brought me to the point where I’m actually proud to call myself both an atheist and an anti-theist. Religion, no matter how (seemingly) tolerant or merciful, is a pox on humanity. At its best, it fosters superstitious, irrational thinking; at its worse, it demands complete obedience, including the forced submission of non-believers. No matter what God you follow, rest assured that he, she, or it is most certainly a dick.

Although the first Smite Me! post features those damned Danish cartoons, future editions will be equal-opportunity offenders, with anti- Christian, Catholic, Buddhist, Mormon, Sikhism, pagan, New Age [insert your religion here] imagery. Save for a brief description of the picture, future posts will be largely devoid of commentary. Fellow heathens who have an image they’d like to suggest or contribute can email me at smitemedotnet [at] gmail [dot] com.

So, zealots and fanatics, go ahead and smite me. Let’s see what your god(s) is made of. (Maybe he’ll even surprise you with a fucking sense of humor. Imagine that!)

No cheating, though – your omnipotent god has to do it on his own. That means no mail bombs or anthrax, which will only emasculate your deity. Then he’ll have to smite your sorry ass, too.

Originally posted @ www.kellygarbato.com/blog/2006-02-20/
Filed under: Religion, Censorship, Smite Me! Series — Kelly @ February 20, 2006 3:26 pm