“Why doesn’t Michelle Obama love the greatest, best nation God has ever given Man on the face of the Earth?”

July 9th, 2008 8:27 pm by Kelly Garbato

I’m paraphrasing, of course.

Video and petition here.

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This week in shit-slinging politics.

June 13th, 2008 3:17 pm by Kelly Garbato

I’m seriously (SRSLY!!!!1!!!1!) getting burned out on politics, but this shit is too good to pass up. At the risk of blowing the same horn ad nauseum, some link love. Or hate, would probably be a more accurate description.

Let the blaming commence!

And the Hillary Sexism Watch rolls on! Part 107: Just a Pair of Titz Edition

The Obama Racism/Muslim/Unpatriotic/Scary Black Dude Watch is at Part 55. I’ll send you to Part 54 for the backlinks.

Also, from Gina of What About Our Daughters?, Michelle Obama Watch:

Michelle Obama Watch is a nonpartisan effort to monitor the media’s treatment and depiction of Michelle Obama, the most visible African American woman in popular culture. Michelle Obama Watch will become the repository of the good, the bad, the ugly and the indifferent.

I’d like to close my eyes and think that they’ll only be able to fill the site with unicorns, soy ice cream, talking puppies and other good stuff, but we all know that ain’t gonna be the case. More likely a whole lotta of bad and ugly.

Exhibit #1: Michelle is “Obama’s Baby Mama!”, according to Faux Newz. (Via.)

I’m a low-hanging fruit. No, for reals:

I’m surprised they missed the opportunity for a melon joke.

(The time was ripe, you know what I’m sayin’?!? As in girls have boobies! ZOMG breasteses! Wait, what was I saying again?)

Trying to keep it classy, I guess.

For calling out the media’s misogyny vis-à-vis Hillary Clinton, douchebag extraordinaire Keith Olbermann hits Katie Couric with a nice dose of…

…misogyny! How fitting.

Jay Leno – who, despite not being a member of the MSM, is a fuckwit all the same – “quipped that Senator Hillary Clinton would offer Obama a lap dance in exchange for the Vice Presidency.” NOW has more. (Via.)

Finally, in a slightly more uplifting piece, Dr. Socks writes about teh wimmins’ newfound leverage. Go, read, now.

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From the folks who brought you Rachael Ray the jihadist:

June 10th, 2008 5:36 pm by Kelly Garbato

The terra-ist fist jab!

FWIW, here’s Hill’s non-apology:

Today, June 10, at the opening of her show, Hill gave a weak apology, claiming that while people thought she was suggesting the Obamas were doing a “terrorist fist jab,” she was really just reporting how it “had been characterized in the media.”

Uh, yeah. How it “had been [mis]characterized in the media”…by xenophobes and racists like E.D. Hill. Ahem.

Personally, I thought it was frikkin’ adorable.

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While the boss is away, the Kitty will play…at race-baiting.

May 8th, 2008 9:56 am by Kelly Garbato

Kitty Pilgrim, filling in for Lou Dobbs last night*:

Also, a massive drug bust in one of our nation’s universities. We will tell how Mexican drug cartels may be preying on our students.

“Preying on our students,” Kitty? Really?

Yeah, them big bad Mexicans, tricking our pure-as-freshly-fallen-snow college kids into dealing drugs. Because we all know how virginal frat boys are.

And it certainly has nothing to do with the skyrocketing college tuition prices. Nor is the credit crunch to blame, what with the increasingly scarce and hard-to-qualify-for student loans. They couldn’t possibly be dealing drugs to pay for school. No, silly, that’s what bodily fluids donation is for!

Just keep blaming it on Juan, and Jorge, and Felipe Calderón. Seriously, I’m dying to see what American problems y’all can pin on Teh Mexicans!!!1! next. That 911 operator who fell asleep – let me guess – he was a lazy Mexican, right? Or the evil Mexicans slipped him some downers? Or he was a lazy Mexican hooked on downers?

No matter, I’m sure the great minds at Lou Dobbs Tonight will find a way to blame it on teh brown peoples. The details aren’t important, just as long as the race-baiting feels good-n-truthy.

* Yeah, I know I shouldn’t be watching this drivel to begin with, but in all fairness, I was in the middle of making a batch of peanut butter balls for the doggehs, and my hands were covered in sticky oily goodness. I’m not gonna ruin my precious (i.e., the remote control), not even over Lou Dobbs’s race baiting ways.

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“The press loves McCain. We’re his base.”

March 25th, 2008 10:25 am by Kelly Garbato

I was just about to post a link to Media Matters’ latest news roundup on the MSM’s coverage fellating of John McCain, when I stumbled upon the latest gem from Lou Dobbs and was understandably distracted.

(The column, in case you’re interested, in summarized thusly: “John McCain should be having a very bad week. Fortunately for him, McCain’s unofficial surrogates — also known as “reporters” — have leaped to his defense on a range of topics.” Topics include taxes, foreign policy and godbags John Hagee and Rod Parsley. You can read the whole sorry news roundup here. Mehopes that’s a permanent link, but who knows. Note to Media Matters: puh-leaze link to your columns in your emails.)

Luckily, another email arrived in my inbox to pull me back toward my original mission, ie., disparaging John McCain. Enter Free Ride: John McCain and the Media. So free is his ride that Media Matters has already published an entire. fucking. book. detailing the freedom of said ride, formerly known as The Straight Talk Express. (Now more like I Will Suck Off Karl Rove for a Shot at the Presidency.)

So go, read, watch, share. Unless you want to suffer through another four years of dubya.

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In other news, Lou Dobbs calls for all the brown lolcat pix to be deported to .mx domains.

March 25th, 2008 9:30 am by Kelly Garbato

Via Media Matters:

Dobbs asked if Obama is “pandering to ethnocentric special interests again” by accepting Richardson’s endorsement

On the March 21 edition of CNN’s Lou Dobbs Tonight, host Lou Dobbs introduced his program by announcing: “Tonight, Senator [Barack] Obama wins the endorsement of the nation’s only Hispanic governor, Bill Richardson. Is Obama pandering to ethnocentric special interests again? We’ll have complete coverage.” The subsequent report by Capitol Hill reporter Jessica Yellin did not include a discussion of whether Obama is “pandering to ethnocentric special interests.”

Later, during a panel discussion with Washington Post New York bureau chief Keith Richburg, New York Daily News columnist Michael Goodwin, and Democratic superdelegate Robert Zimmerman, Dobbs asked: “Are each endorsement, are we going to hear, as white Americans, as black Americans, as Hispanic-Americans, I mean, is this going to be part of what is the group and identity party in this country? Are — is that not — is it just — I mean, just tell me, is there some sense that the Democratic Party is being overwhelmed by its own sense of group and identity politics here?”

Yellin’s report also aired during the 4 p.m. and 6 p.m. ET hours of the same day’s edition of CNN’s The Situation Room; in neither instance did guest host John King introduce or tease the segment by asking whether Obama was “pandering to ethnocentric special interests.”

Shane observes: “I find it ironic, that he rails about ‘identity politics’ but his whole show is about identity politics, ‘middle class’ and ‘Americans’”.

That’s probably because he’s a racist, xenophobic nationalist.

Just sayin’.

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Stop, Wolf, you’re killing me!

February 28th, 2008 9:59 am by Kelly Garbato

Overheard yesterday, on The Situation Room:

BLITZER: You were quoted in “The Washington Post” as saying this on Monday. You said, “The media does not like the Clintons for whatever reason. Maybe some of it’s the Clintons’ fault, but the media does not like the Clintons.”

Has she gotten a bum rap, unfair treatment, compared to Barack Obama, over the past several months?

RENDELL: Wolf, there’s absolutely no question about that. I don’t know if you saw “Saturday Night Live.” It’s become a national joke.

In fact, one of your — I think — no, it was MSNBC’s reporter who was covering Obama. He said, in referring to one of the senator’s speeches, he said, you know, hearing this speech, it’s hard not to get involved and be partisan. And then I think Brian Williams congratulated him on having the guts to say that.

Well, I don’t know what journalism class he went to, but I have always been told that it’s important for journalists, for reporters, to give the news straight and not to be influenced and not to be partisan. I don’t think the senator has had a fair shake from the get-go, and I think Senator Obama, who’s a terrific guy, who if he’s the nominee, I will support with every ounce of energy I have, but he’s basically been given a free ride.

Do you remember The Times story about a month ago about Senator Obama being pro-nuclear energy, and not only that, but changing a position in response to a big power company who later went on to become among his biggest contributors? Well, how many of the young Obama supporters out there at these rallies do you believe, Wolf, know that he’s pro-nuclear?

BLITZER: Probably not a whole lot.

RENDELL: I would say probably not one.

BLITZER: All right. Well…

RENDELL: And why didn’t that story have legs? Why didn’t CNN, why didn’t MSNBC, why didn’t other newspapers report it?

BLITZER: Well, we did report it. But you know, we can’t report the same stories every single day.

RENDELL: Oh, a teensy…

BLITZER: But let me talk about Pennsylvania for a moment, because we don’t have a lot of time.

Bwahahahaha!

Oh, that is so rich.

Because, like, I don’t have to suffer through the same fucking reports for an entire week before CNN rotates to new content. And I don’t even mean to suggest that they harp on the same topic – hells no. I mean to say that they replay the exact. same. segment. over. and. over. And that goes for CNN as well as CNN Headline News. Fuck, the two channels even recycle their stories between one another.

Try again, Wolf. 48 hours a day between the two CNN channels, and you arses fill it with maybe 12 hours of original content. And most of that is utter nonsense, anywhos.

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deep thoughts, i has them

February 9th, 2008 5:24 pm by Kelly Garbato

I wonder whether Lou Dobbs cracks a smile when he sees cute kitty pictures?

LOL Kitty says, “Status: doubtful. It’s the feline agenda, stoopid!”

Funny Pictures

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Wherein CNN equates sexual assault with lust.

February 8th, 2008 10:22 am by Kelly Garbato

Dear CNN Misogynist Douchebags Clueless Fuckwits, including but not limited to Tony Harris -

I cannot say why you saw fit to change your description of a sexual assault, perpetrated by six douchebag cops on a seemingly drunk and vulnerable woman, from SLINKY BABE + 6 COPS = TROUBLE” to “BEHAVING BADLY: POLICE STATION’S LUSTFUL LOBBY”, however, I have no illusions that you did so because this uppity cunt “fired off” a complaint to you last night. I don’t get the impression that you much care what your female viewership thinks about your “reporting” and “journalism.” Cunty 4 Hills, am I right bitchez?

2008-02-08 - CNN LOLZ Sexual Assault - 0002

Either way, you are a bunch of clueless fuckwits, particularly if you think that this morning’s headline is any better than last night’s. They both make an LOL out of a sexual assault situation, and while “SLINKY BABE + 6 COPS = TROUBLE” clearly blames the victim for her assault, “BEHAVING BADLY: POLICE STATION’S LUSTFUL LOBBY” implies that the assault was a simple case of horndogs behaving badly, rather than abusing their power by violating someone whom they’re supposed to be protecting. Wrong, wrong, fuck you, wrong, and did I say fuck you?

And are we sure that Tony Harris isn’t a closet MRA? Here he is, laughing after the segment aired on the CNN “Newsroom” this morning.

2008-02-08 - CNN LOLZ Sexual Assault - 0004

I mean holy shit, he can Barely! Hold! It! In!

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ROTFL!!!1!!111!!!

Normal people don’t usually see sexual assault and gross abuses of power as occasions for a good tee-hee!. At least Heidi Collins looked sufficiently pissed off. Next time call him on his misogyny, sister.

With even lower regards than last night,

- Some sour cunt

PS – Liberal media my ass. CNN = Faux News Lite.

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Drunk Slut + 6 Coppers = Wacky Rape Hijinx! LOLXXX!

February 7th, 2008 6:16 pm by Kelly Garbato

Dear CNN Misogynist Douchebags -

On today’s edition of CNN Headline News’ Prime News, anchor Richelle Carey reported on an incident in which an apparently inebriated woman was sexually assaulted by six police officers. From the report, I gather that the woman sought refuge in the police station while waiting for a ride in the wee hours of the morning. I guess she didn’t want to be manhandled by some creep on the street. (Ha! The joke is on her, am I right!?) The “headline” that graced the screen during the entire segment read “SLINKY BABE + 6 COPS = TROUBLE”.

No, really. See:

2008-02-07 - In Which CNN Victim Blames - 0006

Do I really need to explain to you how incredibly vile it is to refer to a sexual assault victim as a “SLINKY BABE”, not to mention, sexual assault itself as “TROUBLE”? RLY!?

As a police officer is yanking this whore who was clearly asking for it poor woman’s skirt “up to her waist” (in yer own words), you are literally screaming (LITERALLY! SCREAMING!) “SLINKY BABE + 6 COPS = TROUBLE” at the victim and the audience.

The headline may as well have read, “Drunk Slut + 6 Cops = Wacky Rape Hijinx! LOLZ!”

Anywho, after firing off a complaint letter to Prime News, I clicked through your site in search of further details on the story. Prior to this, I thought – hoped – that the insensitive, victim-blaming, assault-denying headline was the work of a lone closet MRA intern at CNN. However, when I located the story – appropriately filed in the “crime” section of CNN’s news stories – I was aghast at the story’s online headline:

cnn-primenews-2008-02-07

Cop shop hanky panky caught on camera.

Even the URL got in on the action: cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2008/02/07/sexy.pics.at.police.station.wndu

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck. Those crazy coppers, fondling drunken hotties down at the station! What will they think of next? Forced tag team anal/oral/vaginal penetration? Maybe a six-spouted golden shower? Who knows! Sure to be plenty o’ LOLZ, though!

You. Make. Me. Sick.

Lowest regards.

- Women everywhere

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