You know you want more doggehs!

(More below the fold…)

So, last Sunday the libertarian douchebag and I went shopping for some miscellaneous home improvement type stuff, and we stopped at a box-store-that-shall-not-be-named (except it will, since the name plays a wee bit role in my story) to pick up a few grocery items. We do our shopping, hop into the “20 items or less” lane (I can’t remember the last time that happened), finally reach the front of the checkout line…and LD notices a bright pink sign perched atop the credit card swiper-thingy. I forget the specifics, but it had something to do with WIC; apparently the state of Missouri is reworking their list of WIC-approved items, supposedly because of the higher gas prices, but probably because they like to occasionally fuck with those who dare ask the for government assistance in feeding their families.

Anyway, I kind of saw the sign but didn’t bother reading past the top line, since I instantly recognized it as a WIC notice, and not pertinent to my current grocery shopping experience. LD, on the other hand, pointed it out to me and asked if I knew what it meant. I was only half-listening, because I’d already turned my attention elsewhere, so I kind of shrugged him off, as if to say “Who the fuck knows?” Or, more to the point, “Why the fuck are you asking me?” Since, you know, neither of us use WIC. He’s not even a woman, infant or child, ferchrissakes.

Still he persisted, kind of muttering to himself. And then I realized…he doesn’t know what WIC is! He thinks the notice has something to do with Wal-Mart discontinuing items. W = Wal-Mart.

But I realized a moment too late, because before I could even kick him in the ankle, he asked the cashier if Wal-Mart was no longer stocking the no-longer WIC-approved items. Including, among other things, name brand cereal. As if.

Dear dog, I thought, please don’t let her have heard that.

She did.

The cashier was puzzled. I was embarrassed.

Then she too realized what LD was referring to, and she started explaining with a chuckle.

Immediately I piled on as well, and we both got a good laugh at his expense. No way was I going to identify with the clueless white guy who’s never heard of WIC before. Even if I am married to him.

Now, granted, I worked at a grocery store throughout college. A WIC vendor, at that. But still.

Who hasn’t heard of WIC? It’s, like, in teh newz and stuff. Common knowledge.

Oh, right, libertarians (and Republicans, conservatives, etc.). You know, the ones criticizing the programs they can’t even name.

(Note to Shane: I kid because I love.)

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Tagged: wic libertarian douchebag your featherhead wal-mart mo missouri

The L libertarian douchebag, that is.

That’s him, getting his podcast on. The first two episodes went by the name of The Libertarian Douchebag, but he and his co-host changed it to The Libertarian Dime when it proved difficult to book guests on a show called The Libertarian Douchebag. Personally, I think The Libertarian Dime is a bit cheesy – makes me think of shadowy ’50s figures smoking cigars and flitting around in fedoras. Whatevs.

He’s been at it a month and already he and Jonathan managed to book an actual guest – Glenn Nielsen, the State Chair of the Libertarian Party of Missouri. I don’t know if that speaks to the success of Shane’s podcast, or the desperation of the Libertarian Party of Missouri. I’m betting the latter. But hey, I give him props either way.

So, go have a listen. From what Shane reports, Glenn wasn’t as big an L as we’d thought he’d be. No Ron Paul botting to be found in the interview.

If you find yourself cringing at anything my husband says, just remember that I’m still working on him. I got him to embrace animal rights inside of two years, and he’s been vegan as long as I have. He’ll be a liberal douchebag someday.

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Tagged: libertarian libertarian douchebag the libertarian dime podcast politics lol lolz

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Tagged: happy birthday lolcat geeky your featherhead

Originally posted @ www.kellygarbato.com/blog/2007-08-20/
Filed under: Your Featherhead, Your Featherhead’s Furbabies — Kelly @ August 20, 2007 1:49 pm

The husband spent the weekend in Vegas for his brother’s bachelor party. He sent me the following series of IM’s last night. Swoon. My hero.

(00:34:59) orzonal: hey
(00:34:59) kgarbato : Sorry, you missed me!
(00:35:47) orzonal: eh, brb, i need to get something to drink
(00:41:54) orzonal: eh, you’re prolly sleeping
(00:42:04) orzonal: had an interesting evening
(00:42:35) orzonal: josh and his friends decided to go to the playboy club..couldn’t pay me to go there, so I took off, and was taking a walk around the casino
(00:42:40) orzonal: outside
(00:43:29) orzonal: so I pass this car in a handicap spot, and I notice a young woman trying to, what looked like to me, feed a dog in a car
(00:43:56) orzonal: it looked a little fishy, but I thought maybe she was locked out or something and was trying to help her dog
(00:44:16) orzonal: turns out it wasn’t hers, but she’d been there waiting with the dog for like 45 mins
(00:44:34) orzonal: the bike security guys wouldn’t help her, so she was waiting with him
(00:44:53) orzonal: he had plenty of air, and I don’t think he could have died of heat..but it was in a casino parking lot?
(00:44:55) orzonal: !!
(00:45:17) orzonal: the woman, before I got there, went inside and got a bowl and put a water dish for him in the back seat
(00:45:20) orzonal: so..
(00:45:37) orzonal: i took a snapshot with my phone of the license plate and went to the concierge
(00:46:10) orzonal: they called security to go out there
(00:46:16) orzonal: i went back to the car
(00:46:22) orzonal: and waited to make sure security came
(00:46:23) orzonal: they did
(00:46:28) orzonal: with the old couple
(00:46:41) orzonal: the woman who had been waiting just went off of the old couple
(00:47:18) orzonal: at that point security asked the old couple to go home, and essentially kicked them out for the night

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Related: IDA’s My Dog Is Cool campaign

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Tagged: im instant message animals animal rights animal welfare dog canine vegas las vegas assholes shane brady pet companion animal heatstroke rant rave flickr my dog is cool ida in defense of animals dachshund weiner dog rat terrier Ralphie Peedee O-Ren my furbabies

Originally posted @ www.kellygarbato.com/blog/2007-07-01/
Filed under: Animals, Your Featherhead — Kelly @ July 1, 2007 10:15 am

Happy Anniversary.

Even though the government coerced me into marrying you and all. *Shrug*

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Tagged: iris dement john prine you tube video anniversary

Originally posted @ www.kellygarbato.com/blog/2007-06-27/
Filed under: Your Featherhead — Kelly @ June 27, 2007 2:02 pm

(13:07:45) kgarbato: hey, i was checking out some new music
(13:08:04) kgarbato: want me to put the latest nickelback cd on hold for ya?
(13:08:10) kgarbato: *snap*
(13:10:57) [shane]:
(13:11:04) [shane]: that stung

Originally posted @ www.kellygarbato.com/blog/2006-07-26/
Filed under: Your Featherhead — Kelly @ July 26, 2006 3:23 pm

Last week the old man and I were arguing – can’t remember about what now, but I’m sure it was something along the lines of pee on the toilet seat or dirty dishes under the bed – and anyway, I threatened to out him as a Nickelback fan.

Yeah, that’s right…I’m dating a Nickelback fan. Now, keep in mind that I didn’t know this when we first started dating. Hell, I’m not even sure I’d heard any Nickelback “songs” at that point – it’s been that long. But one day, one horrible, horrible, day, I found a Nickelback CD in his car. Not only did he like the band, but he actually liked them enough to burn $20 on one of their crappy CDs.

The silver lining in all of this is that, whenever we disagree about anything, or when I do something dumb (like smoke the microwavable popcorn so badly that he goes into an asthmatic fit and the kitchen walls turn grey), all I have to do is pull out my trump card – the Nickelback CD – and he shuts his pie hole like that. Yes, the abomination that is Nickelback is that powerful, folks.

So anyway, I threatened to out him, but the bastard beat me to it. He claims that he only listened to the CD a few times and then tossed it under his car seat in disgust, where it sat until that fateful day that I found it. Only that’s not where I found it – it was in his CD player! Don’t believe his lies, everyone. Despite his protestations to the contrary, I think he’s still a closet Nickelback fan. At least have the cajones to admit it, hun. I’ll still love you. I might not respect you, but I’ll still love you.

- K

Originally posted @ www.kellygarbato.com/blog/2005-05-29/
Filed under: Your Featherhead — Kelly @ May 29, 2005 1:42 pm