Ugh. Fresh out of bed, and my bitch ass is already blaming the patriarchy. IBTP, natch.

Last night, while catching up on all my blog reading, I noticed this post at Shakesville, about whether “chick flick” Sex and the City will be a box office hit despite the fact that it has - ewz! - vaginas.

Melissa notes:

Secondly: Women = approximately 52% of the population. Gay men = approximately 10% of the male population. How, exactly, does that add up to a smaller potential audience than “testosterone-driven” dudely films for the straight menz?

(Oh, right. Because women will go see dick flicks, but no self-respecting straight dude would go see a ZOMG CHICK FLICK!!!11!eleventy-one!!! Except for the promise of a blowjob, of course.)

Emphasis mine.

Fast forward to this morning. My radio alarm goes off, and I awake to sounds of “Dick Dale” (quite fittingly, as he is in fact a dick, and about as smart as Dale of chipmunk fame, to boot) - the morning dj on the local KC “alterna-station” - repeating the emphasis, almost verbatim. For reals.

“…men, if your wives or girlfriends are dragging you to see this movie - or any chick flick really - then shouldn’t you really get something in return?…”

That’s all I caught, because I could literally take but five seconds of his drivel before I thought my head might implode with the sheer misogyny of it all.

So, let’s see, Phil Schlafly: if a woman wants such a seemingly basic courtesy as occasionally choosing the movie she and her mate go see, she’s gotta give up some bodily integrity to get it? (Because trading sex for something, be it dinner, a movie, or rent money, isn’t exactly enthusiastic consent. Sex traded isn’t sex freely given. Your dickery equals coercion, no matter how passive-aggressive.)

What of married women, who have already traded eternal consent for their husbands’ seed and paychecks? It’s not like they have anything to offer, since they can’t be raped and all. Maybe they have to spend a few hours massaging their menses gnarly feet after the show? Oh, wait, married women are supposed to do that too. My bads.

Have I got ya there “Dick”?

Well, let me ask you something, douchenozzle. What the fuck do I get when I go see “cock movies” with my husband? What’s he going to trade me for a night out at Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull? Oh, but wait. Let me guess. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is a REAL movie, so I should stfu and just be happy that he thought to take me instead of his penis-wielding buddies. Hell, I should be grateful that the patriarchy even allows women in to see REAL movies in the first place - otherwise we’d all have to suffer the “chick flicks” with no reprieve in sight.

*Snort*

How about we wimmins don’t turn all Amazon on you, decide that you pricks are more trouble than you’re fucking worth, and in exchange you act like decent human fucking beings? It’s a crazy mofo idea, I know, but it might just work.

Oh, and stop using the term “chick flick”. It’s insulting, degrading and infantilizing.

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Tagged: sex and the city movies chick flicks sexism misogyny pop culture bitches is crazy ibtp