So, last Sunday the libertarian douchebag and I went shopping for some miscellaneous home improvement type stuff, and we stopped at a box-store-that-shall-not-be-named (except it will, since the name plays a wee bit role in my story) to pick up a few grocery items. We do our shopping, hop into the “20 items or less” lane (I can’t remember the last time that happened), finally reach the front of the checkout line…and LD notices a bright pink sign perched atop the credit card swiper-thingy. I forget the specifics, but it had something to do with WIC; apparently the state of Missouri is reworking their list of WIC-approved items, supposedly because of the higher gas prices, but probably because they like to occasionally fuck with those who dare ask the for government assistance in feeding their families.

Anyway, I kind of saw the sign but didn’t bother reading past the top line, since I instantly recognized it as a WIC notice, and not pertinent to my current grocery shopping experience. LD, on the other hand, pointed it out to me and asked if I knew what it meant. I was only half-listening, because I’d already turned my attention elsewhere, so I kind of shrugged him off, as if to say “Who the fuck knows?” Or, more to the point, “Why the fuck are you asking me?” Since, you know, neither of us use WIC. He’s not even a woman, infant or child, ferchrissakes.

Still he persisted, kind of muttering to himself. And then I realized…he doesn’t know what WIC is! He thinks the notice has something to do with Wal-Mart discontinuing items. W = Wal-Mart.

But I realized a moment too late, because before I could even kick him in the ankle, he asked the cashier if Wal-Mart was no longer stocking the no-longer WIC-approved items. Including, among other things, name brand cereal. As if.

Dear dog, I thought, please don’t let her have heard that.

She did.

The cashier was puzzled. I was embarrassed.

Then she too realized what LD was referring to, and she started explaining with a chuckle.

Immediately I piled on as well, and we both got a good laugh at his expense. No way was I going to identify with the clueless white guy who’s never heard of WIC before. Even if I am married to him.

Now, granted, I worked at a grocery store throughout college. A WIC vendor, at that. But still.

Who hasn’t heard of WIC? It’s, like, in teh newz and stuff. Common knowledge.

Oh, right, libertarians (and Republicans, conservatives, etc.). You know, the ones criticizing the programs they can’t even name.

(Note to Shane: I kid because I love.)

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Tagged: wic libertarian douchebag your featherhead wal-mart mo missouri

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