In other news, if you had the unfortunate luck to frequent a certain Sbarro’s eatery in Long Island (at 265 North Broadway, to be precise) between March 14 and March 16, you might have typhoid fever:

Nassau County officials issued a health advisory on Saturday to anyone who had recently eaten at an Italian chain restaurant in Hicksville, after a worker there was found to have typhoid fever.

County health officials said a New York City man who is a food handler at Mama Sbarro’s, at 265 North Broadway, contracted typhoid fever, a bacterial infection that can be life-threatening if not treated.

If ever there was an American restaurant where patrons might catch the fever, a Sbarro’s in Long Island would be it. Seriously, have you ever been to a Sbarro’s? Whether it’s in a strip mall in Rochester, NY or in Times Square…ewz.

Typhoid Marinara, anyone?

—————–

Tagged: sbarro’s nyc long island typhoid fever

When I signed up for Library Thing Early Reviewer program a few months ago, one of the first books I received was Caroline Glick’s Shackled Warrior: Israel and the Global Jihad. Coulda woulda shoulda done my research; had I known that Glick writes for the likes of The National Review, I wouldn’t have wasted my time on this piece of right-wing neocon trash. Lazy trash, at that: it’s just a collection of previously published columns, with no original content to speak of. Weak.

Anyway, Amazon has this new fucktarded policy wherein they don’t allow customers to review products (books, at least) prior to the release date. Which is all fine and good, until you consider that publishers hand out advance reading copies of books to, you know, create some buzz. Like, before the release date. Whatevs.

So come March 20 (the release date), I submit my review, and…nothing. After emailing customer service, come to find out that they rejected my review because

your comments in large part focused on authors and their intentions, rather than reviewing the item itself.

Our guidelines do not allow discussions that criticize authors or their intentions. We encourage all voices to respond openly in our store, both positive and negative. However, we do exert some editorial control over our customer reviews.

As such, your review cannot be posted on Amazon.com in its current format. What I can suggest is that you resubmit your review, restricting your comments to critically analyzing the content of the item.

Oh mahs! I unleashed such slanderous bile as “Like most neoconservatives, Ms. Glick has yet to advance beyond Piaget’s concrete operational stage of cognitive development” and “she seems incapable of anything but dichotomous thinking”! I hope I didn’t drive our fearless heroine to the brink of despair with such uncouth language and personal attacks.

Fucking pearl clutchers.

Firstly, there are only three direct criticisms of Glick the person; the entire second paragraph, basically. The rest of the review either centers on quotations pulled directly from the book, the reasoning employed within, or arguments posited throughout. In other words, I reviewed the goddamn item.

Secondly, an author’s intentions in writing something, be it a book, a column, or a lowly blog post, most certainly are relevant to the discussion. Glick is a Zionist – she’s even received the Zionist Organization of America’s Ben Hecht award for Outstanding Journalism – so don’t tell me she doesn’t have a stake in the war on terror. Clearly an author’s intentions and biases color how they view, interpret and analyze a situation. All of which is totally fucking relevant.

And for thirds, what is a book if not a reflection of its author? Should I dismiss everything written in The Shackled Warrior as not truly representative of what Glick really thinks? She displays black-or-white thinking throughout a decade’s worth of columns, yet it’s a “personal attack” to call her a dichotomous thinker? It’s not as though I used racial, ethnic, or gender slurs – all of which Amazon would be correct in disallowing. Rather, I simply inferred that the personality exhibited in her book is indeed her personality. Silly me. Do you really mean to tell me that I can’t call Ann Coulter a right-wing hack based on the things she’s written and said? For reals?

If I offend her delicate sensibilities (or any neocon Amazonian, for that matter), she can always skewer me in the comments. I mean really, does she need Jeff Bezos to protect her from the mean peoples on the internets?

Besides, I want to know where the fuck Amazon gets off acting all offended by this relatively tame review (the most naughtiest word I used is probably “homosexual”, which is probably how my review got flagged to begin with) when they trade in atrocities such as shark fin soup and cockfighting mags. Wankers.

On the plus side, I hope this means that “neocon” is finally considered an insult. Because it is.

Anyway, being the compulsive personality I am, I revised the review so that the more global, “personal” “attacks” are now directed solely at the book and not the author herself. Let’s see if this salt brings the Amazon editorial staff out of their spell. If not, fuck ‘em.

Both reviews are copied after the jump (the original appears first, followed by the revision). If the tittybaby version is ever accepted, I’ll link to it below.

(More below the fold…)

Oh, Freecycle. You have been the source of many treasures: a reused corkboard bulletin board; extra blankets for the dogs; a poker table, even. But you’ve also brought me untold amounts of right-wing mass forwards, such as the sexist, white het dude-o-centric hate mail below. From someone calling himself “biggdog”, at that! Please, I beg of you, grant us lowly moderators the ability to curse such unabashed, netiquette-deficient fuckwads to an eternity in Freecycle purgatory. Or at least give us permission to add these douches to our own liberal mass forward list.

Note to biggdog: If by chance we do ever meet on the highway, you with a flat tire and me with my liberal haughtiness, I will indeed give you the finger and speed off, kicking up dirt in your (no doubt) ugly mug (which is mostly certainly framed by an even uglier mullet). There was a time when I’d actually lend you use of my cell phone, but no more; after all, I’d hate to disappoint by not living up to the stereotypes you have of me.

Oh, and by the way: if you want to rate the left and right in terms of who screws more people over, Republicans take the cake on that one. Republican economic and social policy benefit the very few at the expense of the very many, while Democrats “screw” the top few rich white het xian menz at the expense of, well, everyone (and everything) else on the planet. Since you’re on Freecycle, asking for toys for your kids, I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that you’re a member of the dirty masses, whether you’d like to admit it or not. Amazing how those “tolerant” Republicans gotcha working against your own self-interests, no?

I bet they wouldn’t even stop and lend you their driver to help you fix your flat. Mix that with your tobacco and chew on it.

—– Original Message —–
Sent: Thursday, March 20, 2008 10:38 AM
Subject: Flat Tire

I was traveling between home and work when a tire blew
out. Checking my spare, I found that it too was flat.
My only option was to flag down a passing motorist and
get a ride to the next town.

The first vehicle to stop was an old man in a van. He
yelled out the window, ‘Need a lift?’ ‘Yes, I sure
do,’ I replied. ‘You a Republican or Democrat,’ asked
the old man. ‘Republican,’ I replied. ‘Well, you can
just go to Hell,’ yelled the old man as he sped off.

Another guy stopped, rolled down the window, and asked
me the same question. Again, I gave the same answer,
‘Republican.’ The driver gave me the finger and drove
off. I thought it over and decided that maybe I
should change my strategy, since this area seemed to
be overly political and there appeared to be few
Republicans.

The next car to stop was a red convertible driven by a
beautiful blonde. She smiled seductively and asked if
I was a Republican or Democrat. ‘Democrat!’, I
shouted. ‘Hop in!’, replied the blonde.

Driving down the road, I couldn’t help but stare at
the gorgeous woman in the seat next to me, the wind
blowing through her hair, perfect breasts, and a short
skirt that continued to ride higher and higher up her
thighs. Finally, I yelled, ‘Please stop the car.’
She immediately slammed on the brakes and as soon as
the car stopped, I jumped out. ‘What’s the matter?’,
she asked.

‘I can’t take it anymore,’ I replied. ‘I’ve only been
a Democrat for five minutes and already I want to
screw somebody.’

——————————-

Tagged: email forward email forward joke sexist republican democrat liberal conservative partisan bullshit kiss my right buttock mass email mass forward dudez

Stephen Colbert is about to edumakate y’all.

Bonus GW douchebaggery after the jump:

(More below the fold…)

Here’s a roundup of all the “Happy Anniversary, Asshole” emails I received today. Take action as needed, and give if you can.

Via Democrats.com:

Iraq Fax-in: Let’s Show Congress How We Feel

March 19 marks the 5th Anniversary of Bush’s disastrous invasion and occupation of Iraq – yet there is no end in sight.

The costs so far are staggering: 4,000 young Americans killed, tens of thousands maimed… 1 million Iraqis killed, millions maimed… $562 billion in tax dollars stolen from our children… $3 trillion cost to our economy through veterans care, weapons replacement, higher oil prices, and the collapsing dollar. All that in just 5 years!

We elected a Democratic Congress in 2006 to bring our troops home, but they keep giving Bush blank checks. Incredibly, Congress will soon vote on another $102 billion blank check.

On this 5th Anniversary, it is time for everyone who hates this occupation to do something about it. And we’re making it as simple and effective as we can.

We’re calling it the Iraq Fax-In. It’s like a sit-in, only you can do it from home: iraqfaxin.com

1. Fax an image to Congress that visually expresses how you feel about the invasion and occupation of Iraq. We’ve posted a few ideas, but we welcome all of yours! – iraqfaxin.com

2. Email your Representatives by signing our “Out of Iraq” petition on the right side here: iraqfaxin.com

(More below the fold…)

(More below the fold…)

I received a copy of The Translator: A Tribesman’s Memoir of Darfur, by Daoud Hari through Library Thing’s Early Reviewer program a few months ago. Given the huge lag between the release date and when I reviewed it, I figured I’d hold on to the review until the book is actually available in stores. Which would be…today!

Although…I almost sat on it a bit longer, at least until the international Darfur Awareness Week. According to a recent email I received from Oxfam, the commemoration is “approaching,” but I’ll be damned if I couldn’t find an actual, firm date for it this year (FAIL!). Anyone? *Shrug*

The only point I’d like to add to my (earlier) review is that, to this atheist, all the god-praise got really frustrating, really fast. In the face of such horrors, the god that Daoud exalts is, at best, either cruelly indifferent to all the violence and suffering “his” creations are perpetrating on one another, or he does care but is powerless to stop it (which would call into question that whole omnipotent thing). Or he’s a sick sadistic bastard. None of these options really merit unquestioning obedience and the subservience of one’s entire worldview now, do they?

But if you can get around the blind faith, it’s a good read. (If not, there’s always Ayaan Hirsi Ali’s Infidel, which is an even better read.)

(More below the fold…)

The Monday blahs, I gots ‘em. Luckily, it’s nothing a little Rennie can’t cure.

This was taken last Wednesday, on her birthday the day after her birthday (not yet 30 and the brain’s already turning to mush). I tried to get some action shots of her chasingchasingchasing the ball, but this was the best of the batch. She’s quick, I’m not. Nothing much else to say.

I did manage to snag some photos of the elusive Jayne, though. With her eyes open and everything!

You can check out the whole set here.

——————–

Tagged: dog canine pet companion animal my furbabies Ralphie Peedee O-Ren Jayne Kaylee dachshund wiener dog hot dog rat terrier terrier mutt Jack Russell terrier flickr photos

Here’s wishing y’all a happy Sunshine Week from the dreary depths of the midwest.

Via the Bill of Rights Defense Committee*:

“Sunshine is the best of disinfectants,” said Judge Louis Brandeis about the power of public scrutiny to scrub clean the dark corners of government abuse. The American Society of Newspaper Editors has named March 16-22 of this year “Sunshine Week”, a week-long assertion of the public’s right to know what its government is doing.

The week’s events include:

* March 14 – A National Freedom of Information Day Conference, sponsored by the First Amendment Center;

* March 17 – A National Freedom of Information Day Celebration, sponsored by Collaboration on Government Secrecy;

* March 18 – Remarks by Associated Press President Tom Curley at the National Press Club;

* March 19 – Webcast Government Secrecy: Censoring Your Rights with Mickey Edwards, from the Aspen Institute, and former Republican member of Congress from Oklahoma; Ann Beeson, from the Open Society Institute, formerly with the American Civil Liberties Union; and John Podesta from the Center for American Progress, formerly president Clinton’s Chief of Staff. From 1 to 2:30 p.m. EST at the Washington Press Club, and also available online.

* March 20 – Professor Lawrence Lessig on corruption in government, sponsored by the Sunlight Foundation.

In 2007, Sunshine Week marked an effort by Congress to pass “sunshine” legislation, such as:

* A bill protecting whistleblowers (H.R. 985), which passed the House 331-94 on March 14, 2007. The bill has not made it out of committee in the Senate.

* A Freedom of Information Amendments Act (H.R. 1309), which passed the House 308-117 on March 14, 2007. H.R. 1309, however, was unable to make it through the Senate, so in mid-December, Senators Patrick Leahy (D-VT) and John Kyl (R-AZ) pushed through a moderated version (S. 2488) on voice votes, which became law on December 31.

What You Can Do:

* Ideas for local Sunshine Week events can be found in Bright Ideas, an assemblage of insights first published in 2007.

* Campaign resources, including public service announcements, brochures and opinion editorials, are available by clicking here.

You can find out more at www.sunshineweek.org.

* They’re like the ACLU, but with principles n stuff.

——————–

Tagged: action alerts sunshine week politics government government transparency holidays observances bordc Bill of Rights Defense Committee aclu american civil liberties union civil liberties george w. bush war on terra Freedom of Information Freedom of Information Day Freedom of Information Act FOIA

Should I be at all concerned that my new dentist is a dead ringer for Rick Santorum?

And no, since I don’t know whether the man is a Dem or Rethug, I most certainly will not point out the similarity. A sadomasochist, I’m not.

—————-

Tagged: rick santorum dentist your featherhead