Smite Me! » 2007

Is it just me, or did anyone else get the impression that the Colbert Report staff solicited Monday’s guest (as opposed to the guest’s reps begging the show for a plug) ? Like, just because the book’s tag line tied in neatly with Stephen’s core values? Poor Dr. G. seemed better suited for a medical conference than a spot on a late-night talk show. And a satirical one, at that.

Coincidentally, my second brain was, ahem, having an anxiety attack this morning, as Shane and I had an appointment to meet with our GC to negotiate a contract for the upcoming-as-in-any-day-now reno on our new house. Long story short, both my first and second brains are on board now, though an off-handed revelation did open up a whole ‘nother can of worms. Let’s just say, it’s tough being a vegan in the “heart”land.

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Tagged: stephen colbert the colbert report video comedy central michael gershon gut brain think with the gut vegan

Originally posted @ www.kellygarbato.com/blog/2007-06-13/
Filed under: Fluffy Stuff — Kelly @ June 13, 2007 9:14 pm

Posted in a-pop-calypse now, vintage | No Comments »

“Rodeo people love animals?”

June 12th, 2007 10:38 pm by Kelly Garbato

I’ve actually gotten this very justification. In person. Like, for real. Cereal.

A certain relative of mine, who shall remain nameless (hey, the saucy FSM knows who s/he is!), actually thinks these legalized orgies of animal abuse are fun for all involved. Last I checked s/he also thought that Rush Limbaugh was totally teh cool, so…yeah.

Also posted.

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Tagged: animals animal rights animal welfare action alerts shark showing animals respect and kindness kansas texas rodeos animal abuse cruelty to animals animal cruelty cow calf cowboy garden city entertainment violent you tube video

Originally posted @ www.kellygarbato.com/blog/2007-06-12c/
Filed under: Animals — Kelly @ June 12, 2007 10:38 pm

Posted in animal liberation, vintage | No Comments »

Here’s one for all you Ron Paul-lovin’, state’s rights-defendin’, capital L/small l “libertarians”

June 12th, 2007 12:28 pm by Kelly Garbato

Crossposted from easyVegan.info.

———- Forwarded message ———-
From: DawnWatch – news [at] dawnwatch.com
Date: Jun 11, 2007 9:29 PM
Subject: DawnWatch Alert: Pending legislation that endangers almost all animal-friendly legislation 6/11/07

There is a saying: “One person can do almost anything. No person can do everything.” That’s why DawnWatch focuses strictly on media and almost never sends out alerts that are not media based. I make an exception today in order to tell people about a piece of legislation that could undo all of the good work so many others have done on the legislative front. There is a provision tucked into the pending Farm Bill designed to prohibit states and localities from banning activities they deem to be contrary to public health, safety, or morals. If it passes, it will nullify gains made by activists across the 50 states.

If you respond to just one alert this year, please make it this one, so that others can keep fighting.

Please read the alert below from HSUS and take five minutes to make two phone calls and send two emails. Your five minutes will enable activists to continue to devote their lives to easing animal suffering.

Here is the HSUS alert:

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Don’t Let Congress Undo State and Local Animal Laws

Dear Friend,

Some of our most important victories for animals have been state laws barring cruel practices—such as horse slaughter, confining young calves and breeding pigs in crates so small they can’t even turn around, and force-feeding of ducks and geese to make foie gras. Should Congress be able to block all such laws? Tell your federal legislators NO!

The federal government shouldn’t be able to trump the will of the states when it comes to animal welfare. Yet that’s exactly what legislation now making its way through Congress would do. A small provision—Section 123—tucked into the pending Farm Bill would prohibit states and localities from banning activities they deem to be contrary to public health, safety, or morals. It’s an outrageous power grab that would undermine the democratic process and deny citizens the right to pass state or local laws on issues of humane treatment or food safety.

If passed, this provision would nullify bans on horse slaughter in states including Illinois, Texas and California, bans on gestation crates in Florida and both gestation and veal crates in Arizona, and bans on foie gras in California and Chicago. Tell Congress not to mess with state and local animal protection laws!

TAKE ACTION

(More below the fold…)

Posted in action alerts, animal liberation, of asses & elephants, vintage | 1 Comment »

RON PAUL RON PAUL RON PAUL!!1!

June 12th, 2007 12:07 pm by Kelly Garbato

Hey, the troll baiting seems to have driven up traffic to my significant other’s blog. Just thought I’d get in on the fun, too.

RON PAUL IS A BIBLE-BEATING, SPERM WORSHIPING, HOMOBIGOTED MISOGYNIST DOUCHEBAG.

That is all.

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Tagged: ron paul troll baiting douchebag

Originally posted @ www.kellygarbato.com/blog/2007-06-12/
Filed under: Politics — Kelly @ June 12, 2007 12:07 pm

Posted in of asses & elephants, the internets, vintage | 4 Comments »

Oh, baby.

June 9th, 2007 12:13 pm by Kelly Garbato

www.orangutans.com.au

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Tagged: one u2 you tube video primates orangutans babies animal rescue wildlife conservation BOS Borneo Orangutan Survival Foundation Borneo Sumatra

Originally posted @ www.kellygarbato.com/blog/2007-06-09/
Filed under: Animals, Calls to Action — Kelly @ June 9, 2007 12:13 pm

Posted in animal liberation, babycakes, vintage | No Comments »

Humpday Humanist Blogging

June 6th, 2007 5:02 pm by Kelly Garbato

I would have preferred a clip of the original, complete with pianistics, but Joan will do.

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Tagged: music you tube joan jett the replacements androgynous

Originally posted @ www.kellygarbato.com/blog/2007-06-06/
Filed under: Feminism, Fluffy Stuff — Kelly @ June 6, 2007 5:02 pm

Posted in tgif, vintage | No Comments »

Objectification sux when you’re the object instead of the objectifier.

June 5th, 2007 11:18 pm by Kelly Garbato

So. Yesterday, while climbing my way to gams of steel via my trusty step climber, I watched a month-old episode of MTV’s Real World/Road Rules Challenge* (technically called the Inferno, but whatevs). Judge me all you want, but the xtreme competitions make my workout seem that much easier. Cheesy, yes, but it’s my one guilty pleasure. Some people have House, others have Grey’s Anatomy, and for you neocons out there, it’s seasons 2+ of 24. So fuck off, is what I’m sayin.

Anyway, back to the subject at hand. This particular week’s challenge involved – well, the details don’t very much matter. Let’s just say that it involved some hawt sticky wet grape-stomping action. With “regulation uniforms”. Required wearing for all participants.

The girls got the standard two-piece bathing suits, and the guys got speedos. And when I say “speedos”, well, that’s what the host called ‘em. I’m just parroting what TJ said. They were more like “boy shorts”, really. We’re not talking banana hammocks, or mankinis, or anything like that. These were tight spandex boy shorts, and had they been on the ~~girls’~~ women’s bottom halves, then they would have been considered relatively modest.

Most of the guys were, shall we say, good sports about the shorts. Most, in fact, acted like juvenile idiots, though thankfully none wedged their suits up their asses and strutted around with buttocks jiggling about. Like, um, in past year’s challenges. But three of the guys balked at the prospect of – gasp! – being exploited, degraded, manipulated and used. Like, you know, a girl! (Oh, the horra!)

They refused to suit up in their boy shorts, instead choosing to sit out the game.

Their scoffings and rationalizations were priceless. One guy (Alton, for those of you at home keeping score) was all “It’s not that I don’t feel comfortable with my body, I know I look great. It’s just that I’m hung like a mule, and those shorts aren’t big.” I’m paraphrasing, but the term “hung like a mule” is a direct quote. Of that I’m sure. (Just as I’m sure that Alton is, in fact, not hung like said mule.) Ace, who was one of those aforementioned idiots who had previously wedgied himself on national television (albeit on a seldom viewed channel) , ruefully explained that he didn’t want to “catch anymore flak” from his family and friends back home. (Here’s an idea, dumbass: just wear the spandex, don’t try to give yourself a colonoscopy with it!) Timmy, the furthest over the hill of the contestants (and by “over the hill”, I mean to say that he’s probably a whopping 35), didn’t offer a reason, but “pale and flabby / not cut like the yung’uns” would be my best, err, stab at it.

Whatever their reasons, I’ve heard nary a peep from any of ‘em when the girls are crammed into ill-fitting clothes, forced to shimmy to and fro, and otherwise objectified during the challenges. And besides, is wearing an effin’ “speedo” for 30 minutes really worse than eating bull nuts? Didn’t think so.

Something else to keep in mind: their team (and they were all on the same team, the other members of which I fully expected would castrate the uppity douchebags) had been up a player, but due to their teammate’s newfound modesty, they ended up down one player. And they totally got their asses handed to ‘em. Losing, in the process, $10,000.

So, the daily, ubiquitous, relentless objectification of the female sex? Total teh cool.

Thirty minutes of (perceived) andro-objectification for eight men? So offensive that 3/8 of them forfeit 10k.

Objectification sux when you’re the object instead of the objectifier, eh guys?

* Yes, I realize that “reality tv” is less real, more scripted. So my story comes with the standard potential bs disclaimer.

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Tagged: mtv the real world road rules real world/road rules challenge inferno feminism objectification mankini boy shorts speedos banana hammock body issues self esteem object objectifier